• Kelly

    Many times it is the father’s fault for not being involved. But until the courts crack down on the cases of parental alienation on the mother’s part, some fathers have no recourse, except for the grace of God! My husband and I had a great relationship with his daughter (born out of wedlock, and, yes, we do recognize that is a large part of the problem of family breakdown). We were very involved in her life. Until her mother felt unnecessarily threatened by closeness between father and daughter. Within a year, mother had turned daughter completely against her father. We have been through courts, lawyer, therapists, DSS, etc, until we realize that there is nothing more we can do. Fathers do need to be in their children’s lives, but make no mistake about it: there are fathers that are very clearly forced out of the children’s lives in every possible way, except for the child support. And then society looks down on those fathers,not caring if it is an involuntary absence or not. We were naive to think that the courts would enforce the rights of the father. Every day we pray that God will open the door to allow us to regain a relationship with his daughter.
    Despite our situation, I’m glad you posted this article. It IS very important to have both parents in the lives of their children!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=541010187 Hayley Prychun Rodgers

      You are very right, “the answer is often it’s because [the child lacks] a responsible and involved father,”. I like that the article doesn’t seem to blame the father. Actually, if I saw any blame in it it would be on the mother of 3 by 3 men. We are bandaiding issues instead of getting to their root. Looking for feel good answers not real, long term fixes,

      • ajl

        She should have kept her legs closed. Really? Three baby daddies? She is NOT a responsible adult.

  • Aimee

    I agree with Kelly. Parental alienation is a HUGE problem that the family courts refuse to address. As long as America continues to glorify single mothers and portray them as martyrs while we label noncustodial fathers as “dead beat baby daddies”, this problem will continue to escalate until the fabric of our society has completely unraveled.

  • bobalo59

    I know I’m probably the exception, I married a women with two daughters, at the time they were 13 and 10. I feel truly blessed. I adopted both girls shortly after our wedding, and it was the most heartfelt feeling in the world to have these two wonderful children run into my lap as the judge granted the adoption. Its been one trial and tribulation after another raising two beautiful girls, both teenagers now, yet I wouldn’t change it for all the world. I have a wonderful family that fights like cats and dogs at times, but more often, the love and warmth that is generated when we’re together makes it all a wonderous feeling. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  • mhumberger

    I for one am a father that cared deeply for his sons. I paid my child support , visited my boys on the week-ends allowed and took them for two weeks each summer plus every other holiday. i got behind on child support one time and got that caught up before it got out of hand so I wasn’t a dead-beat dad. My oldest son came with me more than my youngest son because he was dads’ boy and the the youngest was moms’ boy. My youngest believed I was the cause of the divorce which was probably 70% correct where the oldest thought I could do no wrong. The mother had turned them both eventually into believing I was not a good father. My oldest told me he wanted to came and live with me when he turned 12 so I got a lawyer and when to court to get custody only to have him go in front of the judge and tell him he wanted to stay with his mom. So I tried but she had told him all I wanted him for was to get my child support back. Well ,yes, I did because I would have needed the extra money to take care of him. Well anyway now my oldest son is in prison for domestic issues and has been in trouble for other law infractions. He blames me for not being in his life and for not showing him how to be a man. No word about his now deceased mothers influence on his life. My youngest son and I were reconciling after his mothers death because of all the bitterness that was put in his mouth by his bitter mom. We had lost a lot of years of togetherness because of the divorce. He was living with his grandma and helping her with bills and such and got tired of helping her when her own children weren’t even tryiny at all. He decided to move in with me until he got on his feet and to get to know his dad better and on the night he moved in and went to bed that night he passed in his sleep. Inever got to know my son because of all the bitterness created because of a divorce and an unhappy mom. Soory to bother you all with the details but this article really hit home. A so very true article. Thanks for letting me vent. If it wasn’t for Jesus , I would have never made it through this.

    • muypro

      I will share with you ,Mhumberger, what helped get me through my stint in an abusive orphanage, age 2-8! One of the nuns there told me that God sees all and knows all and that that is the MOST important thing in whatever you are or do in life! Your in my prayers son!

  • Jaime Cancio

    Strange my response to this article and I take in conflict and exception to the automatic plqcing the blame on the absent fathers. A life-time of experience has shown it is not so often the father who are responsible for many of the woes of the family and single mothers and children without fathers. Indeed, most fathers are, were and tried to maintain responsibility – the responsibility of maintaining a family. They are so often driven off by the emotional driven wife who is out of control and demands absolute control of every thing under her selfish desires – and desires that exclude her husband and many times her own children. What is seen more frequently – the self centered shelfishness of the mother/wife who lives in a fantasy world of irrational emotion driven self guidance who has to have constant infantile attention, absolute domination and control, and wants constantly of things she does not have – oh how so often they always want more than what life can give them. Always searching and never knowing for what, always the survivor, always alone incapable of true love for anyone but themselves.

    You might asked how I come about this conclusion. Not only have I experienced this myself, seen so many real examples in real life; the most damning I once had a girl friend who worked at the Kern County District Attroney Child Support Division, Bakersfield, California, and knew her and many of her co-workers and would hear them talk and relate experiences in dealing with the divorced and single women with children. What I heard most often to the point of being sick to hear it; the many times I was told how so many women don’t love their own children and see their children only as mechanisms to get money – the mothers never respecting the interest and needs of their own children. That was and is the most prevailing comment heard over and over and over again.

    A perfect example of this was a woman that once worked at a company I worked as manager and that is how I knew of her. Years later finding out about her through two sources both in the same week. She had seventeen men in her life each one fathering a child. Married, one night stands or shack-ups does it really matter. Her combined child support came to about $32,000 a month in 1985 dollars. This was privelged information I was privee to. It just so happened, I caught her 15 year old son stealinig food and merchandise in a convience store I was the district manager and head of security recognized as in-house private security by the State of California, Department of Consumer Affairs. I performed a ‘citizens arrest’ and detained the teenager until police arrived. The condition of this boy and his dress was straight out the waif children seen in ‘Oliver’ he wore a pair of shoes that did not match and a pair of pants undersized and so worn as to be ready to fall off him and his t-shirt torn her and there was to light a garment for winter weather; he looked sick and emaciated – for whatever reason the police needed to go to this boy’s home and as security I was responsible for this child until the police took full authority over him and placed him into a patrol car. And that is why I learned and saw the conditions this boy lived. A house with only the barest furniture, many mattresses on the floor, beds without blankets, the women got this home from one of her ex-husbands (she was the owner and therefore paid no rent or morgage), the smell of cat and dog waste prevailed, in the kitchen the shelves devoid of any food and the refrigerator was empty as well. There were empty pizza boxes everywhere. The sink full of soiled unwashed dishes.

    His mother wore only the most stylish and expensive clothes and she drove a very expensive automobile, records indicated each year a brand new car. Her bedroom was the only room in the home fit to meet the needs of a queen.

    Are there men not responsible, yes, are there women and single mothers taking care of their children and loving them, yes. As long as I had that girl friend, at lunches with her and her co-workers, at night when she came home and told me of her day’s experiences – I heard horror stories you don’t want to hear about…after all and living in our fantasy world – every mother is a perfect mother and every mother loves her children – you believe this – you are an idiot. America is awashed in a culture of women who think only of themselves, live a life of lies they tell themselves, and their only concern is their ‘public’ image to other women – the image of these women I have seen with my own eyes is so very much different. Now ask yourself, how is it the father’s fault if he is not allowed to participate? How is it the father’s fault if our courts always side with the mother in the supposed best interest of the children. I know this from seeing the disaster of putting children with the parent they don’t want to live with first hand; I have come to this conclusion and to late for me and my children; it the children that should be asked by the court who they wished to live and felt safe – it should not be the court, the mother or father that makes the decision. I have seen the pain upon a four year old child who absolutely never wanted to live with her mother and the pain and conflict that resulted in universal grown-up hatred for any and everyone about her. Indeed, I have seen many worst results.

  • RAL

    From the very beginning, God made family the value of the father and the mother, and after marriage under the Laws God put in place, sex, in the covenant He made with us, and the blood covenant man made with wife, resulting in expanding families with the flesh of the mother and blood of the father.

    But just as God put that relationship in binding, Satan uses every immorality, to take that value God put in place, and replace it with sexual immorality that covets, feels entitled, stands in immorality and ignorance of self…and perverts it in our standing.

    The results? Fathers believe all they are to do, is pervert their roll, call their actions of lack of self control and lack of morality justified…to the point even the government aids it in murder.

    This opens the door to sexual perversion, premarital sex, masturbation, homosexuality, adultery, rape, molestation and murder. A progression that Satan laughs at his deception that misleads BILLIONS, and murders BILLIONS.

    He then spreads that standard to what we watch, read, hear and surround ourselves with…with the word ‘compromise’ echoing is so many ears, that tears at the heart of God…but is the standard today in following.

    Example, after example…warning after warning…the BIBLE shares that many, claiming to be Gods children (Christians) are lying to themselves…and lying to God…and one day, lies will not stand…and neither will compromise.http://www.changingthefaceofchristianity.com/christianity-quiz/ God Bless.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ThunderBirdWoman1 Barbara Johnson

    Sometimes its not always the fathers fault, but the mother’s and her family. That was the reason when I was growing up and wasn’t allowed to have my father see me or know where I was at (not court ordered). I found him after I turned of age, and finally learned the truth! I was able to enjoy a few years getting to know him before he died. My mother also died about 2 years ago, but I refused to attend her funeral.

  • http://www.survivingurbancrisis.com/ Silas Longshot

    The ‘war on poverty’ is directly responsible for huge numbers of single parent families. Plus the ‘culture’ of inner city men. Find ‘em, f- -k ‘em and flee. An actual title of a ‘rap artist’ song. http://www.songlyrics.com/n-w-a/findum-fuckum-and-flee-lyrics/

    So, any wonder with that kind of mentality?

  • moberndorf

    Destruction of the traditional family has been one of the major goals of Marxist revolutionaries for over 100 years. In incremental steps, they have chipped away at it, pushing promiscuity as acceptable, pornography as freedom of speech, setting up a welfare system that encourages single women to have children, and using the schools to teach our children that this is how it should be. Since the 1950s, these have been policies pushed by the Democrat Party. Coincidence? Look who’s in the White House, endorsed, by the way, by the Communist Party of the USA. Next time some gangbanger thug kills another kid in the ‘hood, find a Democrat and thank him…

  • slickzip

    As long as sluts keep spreading their legs and popping babies out to increase their welfare checks they don’t need no daddy around spending the money !!!!!

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