AOL Top News Readers Caught Off Guard By Nearly Every Major Event In the Past Year

bye aolBOSTON, MA – After collecting surveys that were sent out last month to readers of different online news providers, data showed that those people who relied on AOL Top News for their information were completely unaware of nearly every major occurrence in the past year.

“Seriously, a bomb? In Boston? Where the hell have I been?!”, said one AOL reader who had answered the survey question – What happened on April 15th, 2013 in Boston – by saying “Supposedly the best man at a wedding did something you’d never expect and a student claimed to be violated pretty badly by TSA”.

However being unaware of the Boston marathon bombing was not the only major occurrence AOL users had been aloof too.

The surveys showed that readers of the email provider’s news service had only learned that The Future Doesn’t Look Good for Olive Garden during the Newton school shooting, as well as a All Bacon Statue of Kevin Bacon was constructed the same day as the Oklahoma tornado.


In Other News:

–       CNN Watchers Seemingly Desensitized to Everything that’s Alarming

–       FOX News Weather Report Approximately 20 Degrees Over Real Temperature on Average

–       Man Commits Suicide By Turning On Car Radio in Closed Garage to NPR

About the author: Sebastian Scholl

My interests are extremely varied, as I am a musician, artist, athlete and scholar. Over my first 21 years I’ve had my artwork commissioned, performed music and dance publicly, become a nationally recognized athlete in multiple sports, critiqued film festivals, created a new style of photography, represented a major clothing brand and traveled around the world on more than one occasions. Born in Miami, Florida, my mother and father believed that developmental learning through travel was the highest quality education. Thus, my siblings and I were each home-schooled till the ninth grade. Wings ready or not, by then we were ready to leave the nest. Starting high school, I attended a boarding school for two years in the heart of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Here I developed an obsessive passion for whitewater kayaking. For my junior year, an opportunity arose that allowed me to travel for the year with my kayak, while staying on course academically; I never looked back. I soon found myself paddling the small creeks of southern Mexico to the colossal river valleys of western China. After the dream ended, though, I finished high-school back in Colorado at a public school, where I believe I had my first "normal" experience...ever. Since then I've spent my past three years at Boston University pursuing a life of opportunity, and have yet to rest in hopes of finding one that best suits me.

View all articles by Sebastian Scholl
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