Unless you live under a rock, there is no way in Hades that you have not heard of Cecil the Lion’s dreadful demise.
Matter of fact, there has been such an international uproar over his killing that Obama is now slated to do the eulogy at Cecil’s funeral. It’s also been reported that Michelle has already contacted Cecil’s pride to give them her and Barack’s condolences. It’s true. Tell everyone.
Now, before I give you my two cents as a big game hunter on the Cecil situation, right before I sat down to bang out this screed my editor pointed out to me that she just posted on my entertainment site, RedHotChaCha.com, pics of two male, Cecil-looking-lions, catching and killing a magnificent kudu bull.
It was disgusting. How could lions team up on such a gorgeous antelope and be so mean? How could this happen? I’ve never beheld lions behaving like that in a movie. According to Disney and the like, lions, warthogs and various plains game animals sing “Hakuna Matata” together.
As you will see (if you clicked the link) the lions chased the kudu down, weaving in and out of vehicles, as car loads of animal lovers with their children watched in horror as The Ghost and The Darkness broke the noble kudu bull’s neck and then commenced to crunch and munch on it in front of them like Larry The Cable Guy would a platter of nachos at a Hooter’s Macho Nacho Blow Out.
It was so sad, folks. It almost made me renounce my religion. I felt led to start a Twitter hashtag campaign I titled #KuduLivesMatter in homage to the murdered bull. It also made me say to my self, “Self, I wonder if the sweet, tender, lovable and damn near human-like lion that we call ‘Cecil’ ever scared, bit and/or ultimately murdered, in a grueling and truly terrifying fashion, the food he masticated upon?” Surely not, because Cecil is our official Saint Hello Kitty and he would never ever harm or hunt an animal down like he was hunted, would he? Huh?
Being an inquiring mind I wanted to know if lions’ chasing down game, scaring the crap out of it and then viciously killing it is common practice amongst the Panthera Leo’s; and boy, oh boy … did I land on a stack of vicious videos of lions doing some uber-nasty shenanigans to their fellow four footed fauna.
Some PETA reps would call what the lions did “evil“ because it sure as heck wasn’t an ethical way to treat an animal. Nature is a serial killer. Fo’ real, y’all.
Befuddled, I continue to investigate further and watched several other videos of lions’ eating cape buffalo calves, cows and older bulls; blue wildebeests and helpless zebras; some were actually still alive. Hello! That ain’t right. I’ve never seen that bloody display on Nickelodeon orSaved By The Bell re-runs. How can this be? Because … apparently … it be. And it be bloody, filled with suffering, screams and death bellows all doled out to innocent, beautiful animals, via some dead-ringers of Cecil The Lion. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?
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