EPA Wants To Eradicate The Human Race

busted“Hi, I’m from the EPA and I am going to help you whether you want it or not. If you don’t let me help you, I am going to fine you until your company goes out of business. I am going to make you jump through endless hoops that do nothing to prevent pollution in the air, land or water. I am going to saddle you with mountains of regulations and paperwork. If you complain or resist, I will fine you some more. In the end, I just may kill you anyway.”

OK, so that is 82 words more than President Reagan gave us, but the EPA is really scary and litigious and vindictive and, we now know, hates humans. Humans are, after all, the problem. The whole problem. The only problem.

I once used a tree branch to kill a beaver that was trying to attack my children. It was on federal land. Whenever I tell people around here that story, they always ask, “Did you get in trouble?” It is just assumed that on federal land, the life of one frothing, snarling beaver is more valued than three terrified young humans scrambling up a huge rock.

We now know what we have long suspected. The EPA hates humans and seeks to eliminate us all.

Last week, an ambulance rushing to the hospital with a shooting victim broke down on the highway here in the District. (I know, guns are illegal here. So, how did the guy get shot? It’s complicated.) Anyway, the patient was in cardiac arrest.

The rig was a newer model diesel, you know, the engines that are famous for running forever. Well, not after the EPA gets done with them. They required an emission control system that automatically shuts down the entire engine if it is not allowed to, and I am not making this up, “regenerate.” Whatever that means.

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