FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS: Western Jihadists Complain About Lack of Starbucks and Poor Internet in Islamic State

Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 10.41.00 AMWestern volunteers for the Islamic State are realizing how shitty their decision was. No, it’s not the idea of being blown up that has them bemoaning… it’s the lack of Western luxuries.

Westerners who left their homelands for a new life in the Islamic State caliphate seem to have taken at least one tradition with them: airing their gripes on social media.


Complaints about the life under ISIS tracked by the Middle East Media Research Institute, which analyzed social media sent from inside the so-called caliphate, focus on Western defectors’ finding a severe lack of creature comforts. No Starbucks, rude help at beauty salons, lousy restaurants, slow Internet and bad cellphone service are among the common complaints that paint life under the terrorist organization as uncomfortable, even for Westerners who signed up to live among bloodthirsty killers.

“ISIS champions its state as the only place in which Muslims can fully adhere to their faith and enjoy sharia-compliant Islamic life,” reads an introduction to MEMRI’s report, provided to “…However, sometimes ISIS members have been overly candid in their postings; when this happens, others often quickly step in and ask that the dissenting post be removed. Such grumblings provide glimpses into Western ISIS members’ discontent with life in the Islamic State.”

Many of the greatest complaints have come from Western female members of ISIS, who often form their own tightly knit cliques and try not to mingle with the native Syrian women. On a blog believed to have been maintained by Westerners in the terrorist group, a query about the state of beauty salons in the territory that spans parts of Syria and Iraq drew a ‘why bother?’ response.

“There are salons but, trust me, you’re better off getting a sister here to do your hair/make-up etc., for two reasons,” read the response. “The style here isn’t really that nice and their makeup most of the time goes toward the clowny look”

Back in July, a Western woman from within the caliphate tweeted a photo of local options for shampoo and wrote, “no good at all…”

On May 11, a Western woman took to Twitter to complain about the horror of caliphate coffee.


“I know it may be shirk [idolatry], but sometimes I do miss Starbucks,” she wrote. “The coffee here is beyond wretched.”

This past summer, an Australian woman who calls herself “umm seeker OFistishad,” or “mother, seeker of martyrdom,” complained about the sweltering heat in Syria with a pithy tweet.

“The heat in sham [Syria] is shocking; I’m thinking to change my kunya [name] to Umm Sweat. Over this heat,” she tweeted.


Another overwhelming complaint from Western defectors appears to be over the food selection.caliphate6.jpg

Read more: Fox News


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