“Humor” Columnist Writes Poem Where He Imagines St. Peter Shooting Wayne LaPierre

st peterThe following is a poem written by Washington Post columnist Gene Weingarten (according to the article it’s his Ode to Pure Evil):

I shall write some verse for my tomorrow’s chat
About the Antichrist, a fetid presence in the air —
I speak of Lucifer, Old Scratch, the Stygian bat,
That dastard, truth’s assassin: Wayne LaPierre.
Twenty children dead, and also adults six
Slain by yet another madman a-hole with a gun
Too easily obtain’d; Wayn’d solve it with a fix–
More arms for a-holes!  That’s the ticket, son.
In Wayne’s World, no problem lacks a cure:
Violence begets violence, so he’ll say
Arm yourself some more, to feel secure
Against the guy who we armed yesterday,

Others in the public eye are filth and slime
(O’Reilly milks our hate and offers bitter brew on tap)

But Wayne’s misdeeds will more withstand the test of time —
Standing as he does before us, unashamed and full of crap.
A toast then, to our friend Wayne LaPierre
For whom gun deaths have been a lucky totem
Methinks St. Peter will espy him, standing there
And smile, and aim a 30-30 at his scrotum.

Ironic? Not at all.  It’s perfectly legitimate for someone who is against gun violence to call for the death of a gun advocate. (I hope you picked up on the sarcasm).

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