It certainly looked like a luxurious, glitzy life in the E! reality series, The Girls Next Door.
Now Holly Madison has revealed what it was really like being one of Hugh Hefner’s live-in girlfriends at his Playboy mansion in her racy new memoir, Down The Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures And Cautionary Tales Of A Former Playboy Bunny.
And she became so depressed she even thought about ending her own life, according to Us Weekly, quoting a release from publisher HarperCollins.
‘Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all and quickly became her nightmare,’ the release continued.
‘After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.’
The book also reveals the ‘oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and [her] battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies.’
Now 35, Madison found fame in 2005 alongside Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson as Hef’s three beautiful blonde girlfriends, featured in The Girls Next Door.
The reality show detailed the trio’s luxury life in the exclusive Holmby Hills neighbourhood of Los Angeles for five seasons until it wrapped in 2010.
Read more: dailymail.co.uk