I can only hope that the next
White House scandal will involve sex
The President’s crimes we could finally address
If he would just soil a blue dress
Or sext a photo with lower limb flexed.
There once was a criminal young and wise
Who got himself a nobel peace prize.
His crimes didn’t land him in a cold cell
But in a warm bed with his wife Michelle.
A war criminal’s perfect disguise.
There once was a man named Phil,
Whose words were curdled and shrill.
He shouldn’t have pushed his dumb luck
And just quacked like a duck
To keep some public good will.
There once was a brave man who said,
That privacy is all but dead.
He had to flee his home,
Lest he be killed via drone
So to Russia I say, Merry Christmas Ed.