Satire with Sepp: Arrested Teen Uses Prison Phone Call to Order Domino’s

STONERBOULDER – Marijuana users worldwide celebrate cannabis day on April 20th.  The holiday – largely recognized in California, Colorado, and Amsterdam – encourages pot smokers to publicly puff amongst friends and peers.  At Colorado University of Boulder alone, reportedly twelve thousands students attended the Norlin Quad 420 celebration last year.

After not realizing that his watch was four days and five hours ahead, yesterday, habitual pot smoker, and CU Boulder student, Connor Stone preemptively attended the Norlin Quad 420 celebration.  Unaware of his four-day early arrival to the party, he was soon arrested by local police for carrying five ounces of marijuana.
After being Mirandized, authorities reported that Stone abused his right to remain silent, saying absolutely nothing while being taken to the station.  “Besides an occasional ‘whoa’, he alternated between looking aimlessly out the back window and staring intensely at his hands”, said officer John Ryan. “However, we were unsure how to handle what happened at the station”.

What officer Ryan refers to was Stone’s one courtesy phone call, where officers caught him attempting to …

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About the author: Sebastian Scholl

My interests are extremely varied, as I am a musician, artist, athlete and scholar. Over my first 21 years I’ve had my artwork commissioned, performed music and dance publicly, become a nationally recognized athlete in multiple sports, critiqued film festivals, created a new style of photography, represented a major clothing brand and traveled around the world on more than one occasions. Born in Miami, Florida, my mother and father believed that developmental learning through travel was the highest quality education. Thus, my siblings and I were each home-schooled till the ninth grade. Wings ready or not, by then we were ready to leave the nest. Starting high school, I attended a boarding school for two years in the heart of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Here I developed an obsessive passion for whitewater kayaking. For my junior year, an opportunity arose that allowed me to travel for the year with my kayak, while staying on course academically; I never looked back. I soon found myself paddling the small creeks of southern Mexico to the colossal river valleys of western China. After the dream ended, though, I finished high-school back in Colorado at a public school, where I believe I had my first "normal" experience...ever. Since then I've spent my past three years at Boston University pursuing a life of opportunity, and have yet to rest in hopes of finding one that best suits me.

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