Step Up Your Game: Hanging Out Is Not Dating

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This one goes out to all my millennials. We are looking at you.

Here we are, in the 21st century. Gen-X’ers, Gen Y-ers, Gen-Whatever’ers who are having a hard enough time navigating massive student loan debts, high rents, and a difficult job market. To add the icing on the cake, they are floundering through the dating world slash hookup culture and quickly discovering that nobody knows what the hell is going on.

That’s probably because there is no structure. There is no methodology. There is no progressive course of events. And many times, there are really no role models out there leading by example for what to even do.

Essentially, everyone is like a ship at sea without a destination. Maybe hoping to bump into another one every once in awhile and ask how to get to port, but everybody’s navigation seems to be broken.

I think a big part of this is the fact that people [particularly younger men and women] have completely lost sight of what ‘dating’ actually means. Then again, maybe they didn’t actually lose sight of it because they never knew in the first place. Many members of the more recent generations have grown up just hanging out with each other.

Actually going to a movie (not that that’s the best date idea…) gave way to coming over to watch a movie – which was essentially just code words to make the invitation sound less forward. Calling a girl to actually ask her out on a date has become a last minute “Hey, want to hang out?” text that implies no effort or real meaning whatsoever.

A date is not a random, last minute invitation. When you are getting to know someone, a date should be planned. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive, but it should actually bear some resemblance to a series of events that you put some conscious effort into in order to ensure both parties actually enjoy themselves.

But, this notion is on a quite obvious decline. I don’t think there is just one thing to blame. I think we are losing social skills despite “social media” that make people more uncomfortable around one another and perhaps contribute to less of a willingness to actually form a real life connection that doesn’t require a friend request.

This article continues on jamesmsama.com

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