Students Fearful of…Chick-Fil-A?

Who knew a chicken sandwich could spark so much fear in people!

Student activists at Duquesne University are fearful of the restaurant, not because they don’t like chicken, but because they believe installing one in the school’s dining hall will put their “safe place at risk.”

They are in for a rude awakening when they graduate!

Students at the university have voiced their concern over plans to bring Chick-Fil-A to their campus.

The fast food chain’s upper management have publicly supported traditional marriage, so students believe the chicken sandwiches will cause gay people to become straight…or something like that.

“Chick-fil-A has a questionable history on civil rights and human rights,” Duquesne Student Senator Niko Martini said in a statement to The Duquesne Duke. “I think it’s imperative [that] the university chooses to do business with organizations that coincide with the [university’s] mission and expectations they give students regarding diversity and inclusion.”

Rachel Coury, the president of Duquesne’s Gay-Straight Alliance organization, claims a Chick-Fil-A’s presence on campus will make some students feel unsafe.

Again, those chicken sandwiches are dangerous we tell you!

“I’ve tried very hard within the last semester and a half to promote this safe environment for the LGBTQ community. So I fear that with the Chick-fil-A being in Options [an on-campus food court] that maybe people will feel that safe place is at risk,” Rachel Coury explained.

She added that, at the very least, she and the members of her organization would like “someone” to “make a statement” on the issue.

Chicken sandwiches are yummy for all and will not cause you to become straight.

There you go, Rachel. There is your statement.

Oh, the school is also taking these complaints seriously! The university system is failing students when it comes to preparing them for life.

“Lambda’s leadership met recently with Auxiliary Services to share their concerns regarding Chick-Fil-A’s corporate position on LGTBQIA+ issues,” said Alia Pustorino-Clevenger, director for student life assessment and co-curricular community engagement, and also the Gay-Straight Alliance’s faculty advisor. “They will continue to have meetings in the upcoming weeks with Auxiliary Services and Parkhurst to address this matter further.”

The student government president Olivia Erickson also said she is taking “this concern very seriously,” and that she is working with the student government on “gathering students’ opinions and getting all the facts we can so we can make the best decision.”

This is way too much fuss over chicken.

These kids are going to have their minds blown when they graduate.

There are no “safe spaces” in the real world.

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