The only thing I found offensive about coke’s Super Bowl ad is how unbearably corny it was. Soggy hands fishing for bottle caps at the bottom of an overexposed pool… I can’t describe it without shuddering from an overdose of insincere corporate heartstring pulling.
I don’t personally see how one could be offended over the Coke ad, but apparently a lot of people are. Regardless of where you stand on the Coke ad, here are three things you should be more offended by than the Coke Super Bowl Ad.
3. The Scientology Superbowl Ad
Apparently the screening process for Super Bowl ads ends when the check clears. If you found children singing an overrated ode to regionalism in different languages offensive, you should be up in arms over America’s favorite cult getting airtime. Scientology is a group infamous for tricking people into membership and then coercing them to stay in the church, sometimes physically, often psychologically. It is truly terrifying to see this group getting to recruit on national television without a mob armed with pitchforks and common sense protesting outside their doors.
*To anyone with deep pockets reading this, I will volunteer to create a commercial to juxtapose the Scientology ad should they decided to run one next year (and let’s be honest they probably will). The ad will feature a bloated Elvis doppelgänger dressed as Jim Jones hawking Kool Aid, “to the curious, to the inquisitive” and to the lonely yearning for understanding and community. I will create the ad free of charge if you will pay for Super Bowl air time.
2. The Superbowl
The NFL has colluded with the US government to privatize profits while shifting loss onto you and me. The gigantic stadiums that taxpayers are forced to pay to erect and maintain earn the NFL millions of dollars a year. They then use the publicly funded stadiums to stage games that they charge television networks over $112,000,000 a game to air. The profits made from these games are all kept by a select few in the NFL as they enjoy a tax free status. Basically, those at the NFL are the biggest Welfare Queens on the planet, it’s a more obscene racket than the “Church” of Scientology.
They have resurrected Europe’s ancient feudalistic system where private profits are made at the expense of public loss. This is one of the ugliest forms of government corruption around, and is much more offensive than anything on television.
I’m not making a political statement with this, famine is just bad.
Follow the author, Patrick Kane, at www.facebook.com/HeroinPuppies or on Twitter @PatVKane