US Government Feels Cheated Out of Their Hard Earned Tax Dollars

ROTTEDAPPLEWASHINGTON, DC – The US government is up in arms after discovering Apple’s impressive network of subsidiaries set up too low their corporate tax burden.

After working really, really hard on designing the current tax system, putting extensive time and energy into making seemingly effective laws, lawmakers report that they, “feel cheated out of their hard earn tax dollars”.

“We feel used”, said one I.R.S employee who prefers to remain anonymous.

“After working so hard on designing a system that we thought would work, big players in the free market didn’t even bother giving us our full and fair share – which is 35% of their profits”.

Despite extensive investigation it seems that Apple has in fact not committed any crimes, but simply found loopholes in the current system and acted for their competitive interest.

However, the US government is refusing to go down without a lawsuit.  In preparation for a hearing before a congressional subcommittee, senators are strategizing to accuse Apple of exploiting…


About the author: Sebastian Scholl

My interests are extremely varied, as I am a musician, artist, athlete and scholar. Over my first 21 years I’ve had my artwork commissioned, performed music and dance publicly, become a nationally recognized athlete in multiple sports, critiqued film festivals, created a new style of photography, represented a major clothing brand and traveled around the world on more than one occasions. Born in Miami, Florida, my mother and father believed that developmental learning through travel was the highest quality education. Thus, my siblings and I were each home-schooled till the ninth grade. Wings ready or not, by then we were ready to leave the nest. Starting high school, I attended a boarding school for two years in the heart of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Here I developed an obsessive passion for whitewater kayaking. For my junior year, an opportunity arose that allowed me to travel for the year with my kayak, while staying on course academically; I never looked back. I soon found myself paddling the small creeks of southern Mexico to the colossal river valleys of western China. After the dream ended, though, I finished high-school back in Colorado at a public school, where I believe I had my first "normal" experience...ever. Since then I've spent my past three years at Boston University pursuing a life of opportunity, and have yet to rest in hopes of finding one that best suits me.

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