Serious Question: How is There Still Monarchy in 2013?

cheersHeartbreakingly, the headlines and hashtags of the world over the past few days have been devoted to the royal family’s newest branch on the sordid family tree. This instead of the sickening fact that monarchy still exists in the twenty-first century. It is a tragedy that the idea of monarchy was not banished to out of print dictionaries centuries ago, to serve only as a musty reminder of a barbaric and puerile step in the history of humankind.

While I harbor no resentment for the young George Alexander Louis, I find it impossible to muster up even a scrap of empathy or warmth for someone who will live an idle and halcyon life at the expense of Englishmen and their ancestors.

Little George has won the birth lottery, and all of England is stuck with the bill… all of his bills, for the entirety of his life. I don’t think I can stand reading one more thing about the ‘royal baby’.  George is not a royal baby, he is a lucky baby. There is absolutely nothing special or unique about him. If thrown into a daycare’s playground, there would be absolutely nothing that would distinguish him from the layman’s children playing around him, regardless of what he will be told in the privacy of palatial walls.

A family burdened only more by scandal than by ceremony, the members of the Windsor Clan are the most loathsome form of social parasites. At least America’s faux celebrities, however shallow they may be, have some skill or commodity they bring to the world. Mastering the unwanted art of awkward hand waiving aside, the royal family has done absolutely nothing to earn or deserve their power, status, or wealth in the world.

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Say what you will about the Kardashians, looking through their genealogy, you won’t find the suffocated and unfuffiled lives of countless English peasants for the sake of the comfort of a few spoiled brats on their hands. The only thing that separates the royal family from the cold reality of the real world is a large and ill-gotten fortune. As said by the late Christopher Hitchens, despite the noble things he was told as a child about them, “the royal family is at best something to look at, and at worst something to look away from, or look down upon”.

It is a well known fact that the royal family has no real power in England, so it boggles the mind even further that they should still exist, let alone in such shameful luxury. If the family even pretended to have some real role in England, I could understand the half baked argument for keeping them around. However, they serve no substantive role in the world.

The Windsors bring no value to anyone, contribute nothing to mankind, and expect the adoration of millions, and a steady and hearty allowance from the stolen money of strangers. Were people with this work ethic born in another country, or to a less fortunate family, they would be living on the streets. The Windsors are nothing more than weak jawed swine bred from an incestuous swamp that somehow got their hands on a handsome stash of pearls. Their sole existence and purpose on Earth is to be gawked at by tourists, adored by sentimentalists, and make up the naive fantasies of little girls.

Freedom can not exist simultaneously with tyranny, and the sooner we all grow out of its childish prince and princess fantasies, the better off we will all be. I can only hope that England will catch up with the rest of developed nations by growing out of the idea of kings and queens. How the royal family has managed to outlive its medieval contemporaries like blood letting with leeches and alchemy, I can not say.

I just lament that I will not likely live to see the richeous day where our rosy cheeked George’s grandchildren, or perhaps great grandchildren, are forced to earn a living through honest labor after mankind wakes up and scrapes the suckling parasitic jowls of monarchy off the face of the Earth and into societal obscurity forevermore.


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